


2 Small Rodents

by Mine_own_yeeteth



Series: Absolute Trash, What Am I Smoking [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, everything about this screams DRUGS but i can assure you i was not high, i wrote this during school which may be even worse, regret courses through my veins as we speak, sorry i cursed y'all with this atrocity lmao, this is absolutely horrendous, why would my brain tell me this is a good idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 21:22:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16710259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mine_own_yeeteth/pseuds/Mine_own_yeeteth
Summary: Me and my friends were messing around with a plot generator at school, and I suddenly thought "Hey, what if I used this to write some good ol' fanfiction?" .And then this shit happened.Idk if I'll do more things like this in the future, but for now, uhE n g o y ~





	2 Small Rodents

Alfred F. Jones had always loved industrial Moscow with its funkelpopping, sparkly ditches. It was a place where he felt depressed.

He was a smad, tactless, appley juice drinker with thiccque nostrils and curvaceous kneecaps. His friends saw him as a squashed, sparkling small rodent. Once, he had even revived a dying baby flamingo. That's the sort of man he was.

Alfred walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. The moon shone like sad, twerking rats.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ivan Braginski. Ivan was a cold-blooded, slightly larger rodent with fluffy nostrils and beautiful kneecaps.

Alfred gulped. He was not prepared for Ivan.

As Alfred stepped outside and Ivan came closer, he could see the deadly glint in his eye.

Ivan glared with all the wrath of 6792 proud and thrusting badgers. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want the Zucc."

Alfred looked back, even more thotty and still fingering the squidgy blade. "Ivan, yain't hawing me, are you?" he replied.

They looked at each other with curious feelings, like two hot, hushed hummingbirds cromching at a very succulent Grandpapa's funeral, which had jazz music playing in the background and two plucky uncles throwing hands to the beat.

Alfred regarded Ivan's fluffy nostrils and beautiful kneecaps. "I feel the same way!" revealed Alfred with a delighted grin.

Ivan looked shocked, his emotions blushing like a raw, rotten rock.

Then Ivan came inside for a nice drink of appley juice.

And they fapped in synchronization throughout the night. 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> this has such an ominous energy and i absolutely hate it. i feel like i just released some ancient eldritch entity into the world. you're welcome folks
> 
>  


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